Leading Men
by Jazz Slayer
Summary: Two brief scenes from "Journey," through the eyes of Finn Hudson and Jesse St. James. Or, the day the winner really lost.


**Summary: **Two brief moments from the season 1 finale, "Journey," through the eyes of Finn and Jesse. Or, the day the winner really lost.

**Pairing: **Finchel, St. Berry

**Spoilers: **For 1x22 "Journey"

**Disclaimer: **Do I look like Ryan Murphy to you?

**"Leading Men"**

The atrium outside the auditorium is dark and hushed but just inside the doors Finn can still hear the crowd twittering and settling into their seats. His heart is pounding in his ears, distracting him as he's running over the words to the song in his head - it would be just like him to forget the words to a Journey song he's known since he was six now when it matters most - when he looks over at her.

Rachel is fidgeting with the hem of her gold dress, which even in the muted light gives off sparkles every time she moves. She's appropriately nervous because she knows what's at stake. But she radiates energy and eagerness to get on that stage. She's got her game face on, her bright eyes shining with excitement and determination, knowing right where she belongs and appreciating the road it took to get there. And that passion is what he loves about her.

She looks over at him and smiles with her brown eyes shining. His feet are carrying him toward her before he knows what's happening. He should be nervous right now and he wonders why it's so quiet. Then he realizes it's for two reasons. One, the crowd inside is now silent because the lights have gone down in preparation for their number to start. Two, his heart, which had been hammering loud enough to drown out his own thoughts and he suddenly isn't nervous at all.

He knows he has just has a few seconds to say everything he wants to say before the piano starts up and they go on. There's so much to say - how he's sorry for all the times he's ever been stupid, the times he's ever let her down, how he wants to laugh with her, watch her achieve her dreams, catch her when she falls, be her hero. But he looks at her wide, confused eyes and, for a guy who often talks too much, he realizes there's not a whole lot of words he has to use.

"I love you."

Then he's back in his place at the door, listening to the first few notes of Faithfully on the piano, and those beautiful eyes are now shining at him, willing him on, and her soft smile feels like a road unfurling in front of him, and everything is going to be fine, just fine.

He reaches for the door handle and takes a deep breath for those first few notes and prepares to go on. But he knows that whatever else happens when he opens that door, he's already a winner.

The auditorium is dark and hushed as New Directions and Vocal Adrenaline stand on the stage awaiting their fates.

Of course it would come down to the two of them. Jesse St. James, a star who thrives on drama and irony, can't even get his mind around that one. As Oral Intensity makes its way off center stage, he finally gets a good look at Rachel Berry, who he's studiously avoided all day - to prepare for his own performance, so he tells himself.

She's standing there in that gold dress, which gives off sparkles every time she moves under the spotlight, like she was made for just this moment. Her cheeks are flushed from the excitement of the day and her hair is tousled as she keeps biting her lower lip. She's appropriately nervous because she knows what's at stake. But she radiates energy and eagerness standing on that stage. She's got her game face on, her bright eyes shining with excitement and determination, knowing right where she belongs and appreciating the road it took to get there. And that passion is what he loves about her.

She's got one hand on Artie's shoulder and her other is firmly clasped in Finn Hudson's - which the audience could interpret as team camaraderie, but Jesse knows better. She looks up at Finn and smiles with her brown eyes shining, and it's one more reminder that he could have had that.

Jesse St. James is a star, and somehow in the Broadway musicals and the fairy tales, the stars always come through. They're supposed to get the girl and defy the odds of this forbidden love, be forgiven for all the times they've ever let that girl down, laugh with her, watch her achieve her dreams, catch her when she falls. be her hero. But life isn't a Broadway show, and in real life, Jesse cracked an egg - and her heart. And in a final stab of dramatic irony, it comes to him that in this showstopper he's the villain - not the leading man.

He's standing in place with his team, listening to the obligatory drumroll, and he drops his gaze to the floor. To the crowd, it's a gesture of poise and tension. But really, it's so he won't have to see those beautiful eyes shining at Finn Hudson, and her smile that feels like a door closing on Jesse's face.

He takes a deep breath as Sue Sylvester picks up that envelope and prepares to make the announcement. But he knows that whatever else happens when she opens that envelope, he's already lost.


End file.
